I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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