I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
