great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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