Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
