i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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