Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
