last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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