Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
