Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
