he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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