Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
