So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
