dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I puked a lego.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize