somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
