I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
im drinking this country out of the recession.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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