I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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