my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
