We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
