I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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