I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we made out on top of his cat.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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