Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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