I wannas sexs uuuuu
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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