a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
