This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
that's an acceptable place to lick
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
