imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Oh god it's open bar.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize