Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I got inside last night via doggy door
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize