wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
