What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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