i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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