He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
