i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
