i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
