i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
