Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
