I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
