Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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