yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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