Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
