so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
