You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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