I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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