So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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