He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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