So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
