I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
