I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
