she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
