Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
