oh god the rape fog is back!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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