Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
