I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize