billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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