I'm pants shitting drunk right now
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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