I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
