he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
