I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
