Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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