Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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