Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
